Si se puede…bone.

If we were going to elect the president based solely on the fuckability of their children¹ John McCain wins in a landslide.

Malia and Sasha Obama may have been adorable on Access Hollywood but they have a lot of work to do if they want to keep up with the competition. At least now we know why it was a mistake; adorable doesn’t put asses in the seats.²

Meghan McCain is the Obama of First Daughters³. I will take her over Janet Reno Jr., sorry, Chelsea Clinton any day of the week⁴. Hell, even the Bush twins⁵ don’t stand up. In fact, I can’t think of a single legitimate contender, although Al Gore’s daughter did write for Futurama⁶.

This November, do what’s right, for you, for 9/11, for America, and vote with your hearts and groins.

I obviously need to get laid and I approve this message.

1. I hear that’s how they do things in Slovakia. [↩]
2. Electoral or otherwise. [↩]
3. Change I can believe in… boning. [↩]
4. Can you blame McCain if this is what he had to go by? [↩]
5. Not for all the Valtrex in China. [↩]
6. Let’s just say she tickles my funny boner. [↩]

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• Watching:

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