What if they gave a war and nobody paid?

Clearly, the best reason to go to war is for the praise.

We’ve put a lot of deposit into this situation with Iraq. And to think that we are so disrespected and they have so little fear of the United States that there would be nothing that we would gain from this … We are there as the nation that liberated these people. And that’s the thanks that the United States is getting after 4,400 lives were expended and over $800 billion? And so on the way out, we’re being kicked out of the country? I think this is absolutely outrageous. – Michelle Bachmann

Those ungrateful A-rabs.1 After we had the grace and generosity to share our principles with them. Of course, the United States has a long standing tradition of sharing by force. What’s that? How many Iraqi lives were expended? I don’t see what that has to do with anything. Speak up, I can’t quite hear. Who can remember why we went to war in the first place? It was so long ago.

Will Saletan called this sort of rhetoric imperial. He’s not wrong, but I think he’s giving it too much credit.

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What else would you call taking it upon yourself to “fix” someone else’s problem and then expecting, not only to profit from it, but to be thanked for your troubles. Or am I giving her too much credit by drawing any sort of comparison to Monty Python? No, I take it back, the Pythons saw her coming years ago.

BEDEVERE: Tell me … what do you do with witches?

ALL: Burn them!

BEDEVERE: And what do you burn, apart from witches?

FOURTH VILLAGER: … Wood?

BEDEVERE: So why do witches burn?

SECOND VILLAGER: … Because they’re made of wood…?

BEDEVERE: Good.

ALL: I see. Yes, of course.

BEDEVERE: So how can we tell if she is made of wood?

FIRST VILLAGER: Make a bridge out of her!

  1. Who needs ‘em? The blacks and jews, too. []

Great Halloween costume or the greatest Halloween costume?

Ding ding! The answer is yes.

The Falling Dead

So, The Walking Dead is definitely improving1 but it still hasn’t gotten back to its original awesomeness. Until it does I think I’ll just watch this over and over.

You know, when the zombpocalypse begins, after my initial berserker rampage where I come close to losing my humanity in order to survive, I’m going to choose to focus on the positive. Imagine all the tail!2 Not only would the bloated moral fabric of society fall away like so much rot, but think about what zombies are actually doing. A bite is just the only way they have left to reproduce, so that horde over there isn’t trying to kill you silly, they’re just trying to gangbang you.3

End times are sexy times.

  1. Sorry, Shawshank. []
  2. The slow moving dismembered tail. []
  3. “Brains. Brains. I want to fuck your brains out.” []

Just a quick reminder

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This shouldn’t bother me, and yet..