By far the least offensive of the widely celebrated American holidays
I had a brilliant, if a bit ghoulish, yet delightfully simple idea for a costume this year:
- A noose, a bandana, and a Pomona or Amherst sweatshirt, tennis racket optional.
Too soon?
I’m a generous guy; if I had friends or someplace to go we could even coordinate:
- A bottle of Jack Daniels, some heroin (real or fake, whichever’s easiest), a guitar, and a knife through the heart.
- A glass bottle of milk, a loaf of bread and some sort of portable oven.
- An old-fashioned dress with pockets stuffed full of rocks, maybe a prosthestic nose and a soaking wet wig.
- A full white beard, an electro-shock therapy machine, a sword and/or fishing rod, and a shotgun.
- A flannel shirt, a dirty blond wig, more heroin, a guitar, and a shotgun.
- A white Stetson, oversized glasses, perpetual cigarette dangling from the lips, several buttons of peyote (possibly fashioned into some sort of crude necklace, again real or fake), a typewriter and a
shotgun.45 caliber handgun.
Oh well, there’s always next year. Besides, with the state of the world the way it is, I’m sure there’ll be at least one new costume for us in 365 day’s time.
But seriously folks, Happy Halloween!1
- Nightmares courtesy of Wil Wheaton [↩]
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