‘Ello, ‘ello, ‘ello!

I have an unabashed, unmitigated mancrush on this here chap.

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Life is not exactly fair, innit? We get a guy who hangs upside down for 60 hours1 and is sucked up into the stratosphere,2 basically a malevolent, time traveling demon. While the Brits get a real life Dumbledore.

This has simply renewed my conviction to, one day soon, grace the shores of Albion.

Well, maybe I spoke too hastily. The U.S. is, after all, home to these fellows:

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But then again,

What’s exactly halfway between Great Britain and America?

Heads up hosers!

  1. Except for his hourly bathroom breaks. []
  2. Except he just kind of impotently hangs a few feet off the ground. []

Close your eyes and think of England, indeed.

We are getting our asses beat, and not in a good way, when it comes to sexy times and loose morals by Czechs and Aussies. This cannot stand! We currently rank sixth in a survey of Western nations and the amount of casual sex they engage in.

I get that Croats and Slovenes ain’t got nothin’ to do but get down, but Krauts? I always assumed the more outrageous a nation’s porn industry, the more repressed the general populace. I mean bukakke’s not an English word, as far as I know.

The VAT might take some getting used to, but Merry Olde England, here I ejaculate.