I’ll ask again: is it stupid to think stupid people are stupider than they really are? Sad? Definitely. Cruel? Maybe. But stupid? I think not.

Earlier this week, it was reported that the Republican Vice Presidential candidate was not aware that the second largest landmass on Earth was not a country, but a continent. This is simply not true.1 In fact, Gov. Palin is only functionally retarded. We regret the error.

  1. What remains true, is that she was, in no conceivable way, qualified to be the President of the United States, or for that matter Governor of Alaska. Also still true: it bordered on treason for a man that old to pick a woman that dumb. []

Turning shit into gold (flaked shit)

As if there weren’t reason enough to vote for Barack Obama, he goes and does something like this. I don’t know why I’m just hearing of this now, but this is some serious compellevision™ right here. It’s safe to say my spell was bound and gagged while my gob was thoroughly smacked throughout.

What a wonderful and unexpected quality to have in a potential president. He brings out the best in, literally, the worst.

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Now, don’t get me wrong, he’s still an insufferable skid mark on the cultural landscape, but watching this, I simply want to headbutt him in the solar plexus, not stomp on his testicles while sodomizing him with a loofa.1

If Obama can make a giant, bellicose buffoon look good (relatively speaking), what the fuck can’t he do?

  1. Assuming he’s not into it. []

Don’t call me Shirley.

Really guys?