I am SOOOO lapidated right now

(via migthegreek.com)

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the men and women entrusted with our public safety.

Important Lesson #1: The next time you get high and start freaking out, think twice before you call the police. The responding officer might be tripping Schweddier balls than you. Plus, he has a gun.

Hey man, we’ve all been there. Trust me. But we’re not all cops. Unless I’ve been wrong about who reads this site all along, and it’s not eight desperate friends with nothing better to do, but eight L.A.P.D. officers on their lunch break, possibly while stoned.

I know police offices are not fully trained EMTs and as such do not have the breadth of medical knowledge one might hope for, and of course, I realize the paranoia inducing effects of marijuana, but it’s important to keep the following in mind:

It has been estimated that a person would have to smoke a hundred pounds of marijuana a minute for fifteen minutes in order to induce a lethal response.

- Eric Schlosser

Have anything else to say on the matter? Just leave me a note.

What’s that? Am I forgetting something? Oh, right. Sorry, I’m a little out of it.

Important Lesson #2: Cops have the best fucking weed.